"We don't know what to do with our own pain or weakness except hide it, pretend it doesn't exist, or mask it. So how can we welcome fully the pain or weakness of another if we haven't welcomed our own? we are born in pure weakness and die in pure weakness, yet in between we try so hard to gain power and control." - Jean vanier.
One thing I've noticed in my behavior is my immediate charge and readiness to defend myself when I'm wrong, my need to be right and unwillingness to be humble and admit my flaws.
Instead I would give myself a million excuses and justifications rather than admit my mistake.
The mind is a tricky one sometimes, just like an untrained monkey.
That's why they call it the monkey mind.
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I've asked myself so many times, why do I resist? Whats so horrible about admitting when I'm wrong? What will I lose? Will it end my life?
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The answer is my ego hates it.
My ego wants to be superior.
My ego wants control.
My ego wants to be right, even if I'm wrong.
And this is why I've named my ego Pikaboo.
"Name it to tame it" - Julie Anne
Because it sneaks up on me making me think that I want that reaction, and I have every right to it
It makes me think I should act out, and say things.
And that its coming from me and not my ego.
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Noticing what behaviors has been passed down to me or pick up by me, has helped me a lot to break that cycle, unlearn things, and change it to the behavior that serves me and the collective.